Let’s discuss one of the best-kept secrets of early parenthood: it’s not just the baby that needs care - it’s the couple, too.

Before my first child was born, a wise dad advised me, “Don’t forget to date your partner.” I nodded politely, thinking, "We’ll be fine. We love each other, and besides, we’ll be too tired for that nonsense."

Spoiler alert: we weren’t fine. We were exhausted, irritable, and gradually evolving into teammates who only talked about nap schedules and who was on night duty. It felt less like romance and more like survival.

Here’s the reality: couples often drift apart after a baby arrives, not because they don’t love each other, but because they fail to plan for staying close. The default is that you get busy and tired, and suddenly you’re just flatmates managing a shared calendar and a noisy little roommate (or two).

The solution doesn’t lie in candlelit dinners at fancy restaurants every week. Honestly, you probably wouldn’t make it past dessert without wanting to doze off. It’s about finding small, regular ways to reconnect.

It could be enjoying takeaway on the sofa while the baby sleeps upstairs. It might involve sitting in silence together at the kitchen table after a long day, holding hands and simply acknowledging, “We survived another day.” Or perhaps it’s sneaking out for a 30-minute walk while a grandparent or friend watches the baby. These little moments? They are what truly matter.

Here’s my strong suggestion: make an actual plan. Don’t wait for date nights to magically appear like some exhausted fairy godmother. They won’t. Life with a newborn is chaotic, but you can find more opportunities than you think. The couples who thrive are the ones who seize these moments.

Also, don’t make the mistake of viewing the first year as just a storm to endure until you can get “back to normal.” This is the new normal. Your relationship needs care in the chaos, not just when the house is tidy and everyone has had eight hours of sleep (which, let’s be honest, may not happen again until your child is studying for their GCSEs).

So this week, have a candid conversation with your partner. Ask each other, “How are we going to keep our connection alive, not just become parents?” Use that Sinek-style eight-minute check-in if necessary. Be intentional. Make a fun plan. Stick to it as often as you can.

You won’t get it perfect - no one does. But you will keep the flame alive. Sometimes, that’s all you need.