Let’s talk about contraception and two generalisations I feel pretty confident asserting. Firstly, most people primarily think of contraception as a means of avoiding unwanted pregnancies prior to choosing to have children and, secondly, women overwhelming bear the burden of taking contraception.

Ask your wife, girlfriend, sister or mother and no doubt they’ll reel off the many forms of contraception they‘ve been on in their lives. Ask them again whether the men in their lives proactively sought to use contraception - condoms - or take primary responsibility and no doubt the majority will say no.

This isn’t a dig at those men - I’ve been one of them. I’ve used condoms, but it’s always been an easy get out if a long-term monogamous partner has been on their own contraception. It’s not that I had a problem wearing a condom but (I assume) like most men it felt like the decision and/or responsibility had already been picked up by someone else.

That was when I was younger and before having children, but what about after? I have two beautiful children, a boy and a girl, and that’s what I’ve always wanted. It’s the same for my wife. We know we don’t want any more. Which leads us again the question of contraception. What does it look like for us with a complete family, me about to turn 38 and my wife in her mid-thirties with the best part of two decades of a daily pill behind her?

One word… vasectomy.

Aside from condoms, a vasectomy is the only other form of male contraception. Because it’s not easily (if at all) reversible and renders you infertile it shouldn’t be an option for childless men under the age of 30 or those who may want children in the future. But for me? It’s a no brainer. It removes our ability to fall pregnant, means I don’t need to wear a condom and, more importantly, my wife doesn’t need to spend any more time filling her body with hormone-altering pills.

The vasectomy is my idea, but in talking to my wife and hearing anecdotal evidence from her friends and colleagues, it’s clear I’m in a minority. And if I’m honest I don’t quite understand why. Is it fear? Is it tied to perceived ideas of masculinity? Or is it old fashioned gender ideas regarding whose responsibility it is to deal with these issues?

NHS data shows long-term decline in the number of vasectomies performed in the UK. In 2010/11 there were 19,510, which dropped to 11,113 by 2014/15. By 2020/21 it had fallen a further 63% to 4,486.

According to the UN, prevalence in the United States has been lower at approximately 11% compared to 21% in the UK, but changes in policy aimed at restricting women’s reproductive rights have led to a spike in men deciding on vasectomies in part to protect their partners from draconian legislation. Thankfully we don’t have to worry about such laws in the UK, but it shouldn’t have to take legislation for more of us men to take on the responsibility our partners have been carrying their entire lives.

As I approach my appointment for ‘the snip’ I’ll be talking to friends and acquaintances about their perceptions of a vasectomy. And to try and break down the barriers that stop more men getting one, I’ll be vlogging about my experience in the hope it can put more men at ease about potentially making the decision.