I’m approaching the end of my fourth week on leave from work following the birth of my daughter with one more to go before I return to the (home) office in the new year. I’ve really cherished this time spent as a family of four as my wife and I get to know our daughter and our son gets to know his sister.

I decided early on in the pregnancy that I wanted to take more than the statutory two weeks paternity leave, initially exploring taking advantage of my employer’s shared parental leave policy that would give me six months off, but settling on an additional three weeks of annual leave when my wife, understandably, made clear she didn’t want to go back to work that early.

These first four weeks have flown by, but the first two especially so, and it’s got me thinking about the nature of paternity leave in the UK. Whilst the UK isn’t alone in undervaluing paternity leave, it does lag far behind some other European countries. Our statutory two weeks are less than Belgium (three), Finland (nine), France (five) and Spain, where fathers can enjoy 16 weeks of fully paid leave at what is a crucial time for parental bonding and child development. We’re also behind Austria, Estonia, Lithuania, Portugal and Slovenia.

And whilst the length of leave is short, the level of statutory pay is the least generous in Europe at £172 a week or 44% of the national living wage. According to a report earlier this year by the Centre for Progressive Policy, Pregnant Then Screwed and Women in Data, one in five dads said no parental leave options were available to them and 22% that were eligible took no leave because they couldn’t afford to.

After two weeks we’d just about got into a routine. We were tired but managing the nights. My wife’s labour was straightforward but she was pleased I’d still be around full-time for another three weeks as she recovered physically from childbirth. And I strongly believe it’s been good for our mental health, providing us with the time and space we needed to settle into life as new parents again.

A side benefit, though no less important, has been the time I’ve been able to spend with my son. Evenings, weekends and holidays are one thing, but having this extra time off in the week has meant I’ve been able to take him to his swimming classes, treat him to pizza lunches and generally spend a huge amount of quality time with him. It’s been so much fun and wonderful to see how he’s taken to his sister – she’s definitely his new favourite.

If I’d have gone back to work after two weeks I’d have missed out on all of this. I’m grateful that my circumstances have allowed me to take this much time and that I’m no worse off because of it. But I’m also disappointed that government considers two weeks to be enough and that some fathers, for a number of reasons, can’t take any leave. It’s unfair on both parents and has knock-on effects in terms of mental health, gender equality and the economy. We’ll be exploring these themes more thoroughly in 2024.

Let us know your experiences of paternity, parental or maternity leave. How much time did you take? Was it enough? What were the benefits of any longer periods of leave? As always we’d love to hear from you.